


flowers

by allechant



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23842378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allechant/pseuds/allechant
Summary: he was like sunshine and flowers and the warm spring air, but flowers always wither and maybe she would have been better off if she just learnt how to live without him.
Relationships: Hop/Yuuri | Gloria
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	flowers

They had known each other ever since they were children.

It started with a girl being picked on by bullies for being different, and a boy who forgot about just how _small_ he was when he leaned into the sense of justice passed down to him from his big brother and decided he couldn’t just stand by and watch.

They became friends because despite his smallness he protected her, and the other children quickly realised that there was little correlation between size and ferocity.

The girl cried when delphiniums and morning glories blossomed on his tanned skin, but he pulled faces at her until she smiled, and he helped wipe away her tears. _They won’t stay forever_ , he promised her and of course, his promise came true.

* * *

Years passed and they grew up and now she was the champion of Galar and he was a pokemon professor’s assistant, but promises continued to spill carelessly from his lips and she wondered if he knew exactly how precious spoken words could be.

 _Nothing will change between us, don’t worry_. And he kept to his word, they were still friends and they were as close as ever, but sometimes she could see the strain in his smile and the way he averted his dandelion eyes and she would think back to the time she beat him at Wyndon Stadium and how it felt so much like a _slap_ in her best friend’s face, her dearest, her most precious friend –

And then the moment would pass, and he would give her a smile that seemed to sparkle with all the lights in the world, and her thoughts would immediately quieten because it was so _unfair_ that she couldn’t think when he smiled at her like that.

She mused on what to do next, now that she was champion and he was a professor in training and their paths hardly seemed to cross unless she purposely sought him out while he was in the lab, reading, researching, studying things that were foreign to her now. Once upon a time they spent almost every day together and there was nothing he did that she couldn’t name, but as the months passed and the phone calls and the visits dwindled, she realised that she didn’t really know him anymore.

 _Sorry, was caught up in my research_. He sounded apologetic but also distracted and she could imagine him poring over a book or a thesis, his golden eyes reading as her voice poured down the phone into his ear. _Maybe another day? I won’t forget again, I’m sorry_. And maybe before all this started, she would have joked about him leaving her behind in the wake of his excitement but this time she really did feel left behind, as though in going down diverging paths he abandoned his past and abandoned _her_ along with it. Yet she couldn’t possibly blame him.

If there was anyone to blame for extinguishing the spark in his eyes, it would be her, and that night she buried herself under her blankets in her Wyndon apartment and wondered if there was anything she could have done differently.

* * *

_Let’s have dinner. My treat. Sorry, I know it’s been a while._ And she was helpless against those words, all her buried feelings resurfacing to overwhelm her as she sat opposite him with a hot cup of coffee in hand. His gaze flitted everywhere, but it never quite landed on her. _How are you doing? You’re looking great._

Polite words. Careful words. They sounded wrong coming from him. He was never one for such pleasantries – they had been friends since they were children and he long knew that she wasn’t the kind to make small talk. She told him about the days that had passed since they last spoke and what she did when once upon a time she wouldn’t have needed to say a word, because he would have been there with her.

He listened with an unreadable look on his face and when she was done, he gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. _Sounds like you had an awesome time. I’m happy for you_. And she wondered if he really was happy, but she didn’t dare to ask.

She asked about his research and he carelessly waved it away – _you’re the Champ, you don’t need to know about boring things like that_ – and when she protested, he sighed. _Fine, but don’t blame me if you fall asleep_. But a bit of the old him seemed to come back as he shared about his research and she listened, happy to just hear him talking on and on like in the days long past, when getting him to shut up would be a near-impossible thing. She didn’t understand much, but she had no intention of interrupting him when watching him now reminded her so much of the old days.

She only spoke again when she decided to ask why he suddenly wanted to meet her. She wasn’t an idiot – she knew there had to be a reason. He had been avoiding her for a while, whether that had been on purpose or not, and to suddenly invite her out for dinner – it was rather strange, and she was curious about his reasons.

He paused. _Well, we’re friends, aren’t we? Isn’t it normal to have dinner together?_ And she continued staring at him, unconvinced until he finally laughed and shook his head. _I could never keep anything from you_. He reached into an inner pocket and pulled out a little bag and she eyed it, wondering what was inside.

 _Uh…I don’t know if you remember, but today is the day we first met. When we were little._ Yes, of course, she remembered, how could she not? She was surprised that he had, though. It never seemed like a big deal to him. He reached into the bag, but then he left his hand inside and slanted his gaze away from her. _I saw this and it reminded me of you, so I thought it would be nice to get it as a gift. It’s been a while since we last met and I know it’s my fault, so I hope this makes up for it_.

When he pulled his hand back out, he was holding on to a simple blue velvet box. She wondered whether it contained a ring but instantly she dismissed the thought. Without fuss, he opened the box to reveal a small sunflower necklace.

She wasn’t one to admire or wear jewellery, but she was surprised nonetheless – it was a delicate, pretty thing, and as he handed the box to her their skin brushed and her heart thudded. _Sunflowers always remind me of you. I guess because they’re so bright and cheerful. Like you_. And she thanked him for the gift because what else was she supposed to say? She clasped the necklace around her neck, and he smiled at her in a way that made her chest hurt. Why did he have to be so sweet to her?

His gaze softened. _I hope we can meet more often. It’s been weird not seeing you around all the time_. And she echoed his statement, though part of her knew that it wouldn’t come to pass. It wouldn’t because he had worded it like a dream, a hope instead of a promise, and things only ever came true when he made a promise.

They didn’t meet for a few months after that, but whenever she felt the sunflower hanging around her neck she would be reminded of the soft look in his dandelion eyes and suddenly, she would feel better about facing the day ahead.

* * *

The worst part about seeing Leon all the time was recognising the uncanny family resemblance. It was like seeing _him_ , just a little older, and it served as a constant reminder of the effortless friendship she used to enjoy.

One day Leon asked when the last time she spoke to Hop was and the question made her freeze because, in truth, she didn’t know. She tried not to count the months as they passed because keeping track just made her long for the easy days they used to share, and she knew deep down that she couldn’t get them back.

He promised that nothing would change between them and she was still waiting for that to come true. She began wondering if even _he_ made promises that could be broken and if maybe she was clinging on too tightly to their past. It felt like he had long moved on with his life, no longer caught up with the fears and expectations of being Leon’s little brother, while she was left behind in his shadow – the reigning champion now, but always looking back, longing for what she used to be.

Leon mentioned that it had been a while since he last saw her talking to his brother and asked in a low voice of concern whether there was something wrong. _It’s just that you two used to be joined at the hip, and now…well. You don’t have to tell me if it’s something you’re uncomfortable with, though_. And she smiled and told him that there was absolutely nothing to worry about, lying through her gritted teeth.

She was worried, but she knew that the choices she made had led her here and she didn’t want to push him. If he wanted to see her then he would. If he was ready to see her then he would. She had hurt him enough, and she didn’t want to hurt him again. She threw herself into her champion duties and tried to forget the last time she saw him, giving her the sunflower pendant that she now wore around her neck with a sweet smile and a gentle glow in his eyes. She didn’t deserve to remember.

* * *

_What were you doing?_ She could barely hear him. She only vaguely knew who was supporting her on his shoulder, hand fumbling awkwardly in her coat pocket for the keys to her apartment. _You’re the champion, but you still have to be careful…_

She slurred something incomprehensible in response, and there was a sigh. The door unlocked and he deposited her on the couch, carefully leaving her on the cushions. _Wait here. Don’t move. Not like you can, anyway_. And he was gone. She groaned, shoving her face into the cushions, and her head felt like lead. If she stayed still for long enough, she could probably just fall asleep right here. It was so comfortable.

He came back with a cup of water, and she squinted in the dim light as he forced her to sit back up. _Drink_. So, she drank, and she was lucid enough to recognise the cup she always used, the small white cup with pink camellias painted all around the rim. She was at home, wasn’t she? She drank the water and she gagged – a warm hand patted her back, and she closed her eyes. Everything just felt terrible.

She was at a party. An official League party. She had to be there because she was the champion. And there were many people invited as well…the professor. Sonia. And Hop, he was there in a formal suit for once instead of that denim jacket he always wore, and he had been talking to some other girl she didn’t recognise –

Another wave of nausea crashed through her and she made a run for the toilet, managing to reach the bowl right in the nick of time. She threw up, gagging over the white ceramic, and she felt gentle hands holding her hair away from her face, making sure that none of it got caught in the rancid mess she was making. Her eyes were watering, but her stomach continued to heave, and she closed her eyes, coughing weakly while her throat convulsed. Hop with another girl. She felt sick.

 _Gloria. Gloria, look at me. Do you know who I am?_ She looked blearily up at the speaker and she recognised the wavy purple hair – it had grown out now, it was a little longer than when they did the Gym Challenge – and those dandelion eyes filled with concern. She nodded. _Who am I? Tell me_. And he sounded worried.

 _Hop_. Her voice sounded strange to her ears. He sighed.

 _You can’t hold your alcohol well. What were you doing, going on a bender like that?_ But he knelt next to her and cupped her face in his hands. She wanted to tell him not to touch her because there was probably vomit all over her mouth, but she couldn’t find the words to speak. _Gloria. Don’t you dare make me worry like that again. Do you know how scared I was when I couldn’t find you anywhere?_

What had she done? She went drinking because Nessa and Sonia…they grew bored and they decided to have their own night out, and she tagged along because she didn’t want to see Hop and some girl making doe eyes at each other throughout the party, and then she didn’t really know what happened after that. They went to a lot of pubs. That much she knew. And she kept _drinking_. Then what happened?

 _You didn’t need to worry. Aren’t you with your girlfriend?_ Somehow, she managed to say this legibly, and Hop withdrew, looking surprised. She groaned, rubbing her temple with the heel of her hand. Her head was so heavy now. She should get up from the bathroom floor. _You should go back._ She pushed herself up from the floor, but she could barely get up without falling over. Hop managed to catch her.

 _Don’t be daft. I’m not leaving you alone in this state._ He helped her stand, making sure to splash cold water all over her face and her mouth, then carefully, he led her to her room. Once past the door, she threw herself onto her bed, tempted to close her eyes and go to sleep right there. _No, you need to change, or you’ll stink in the morning_. Hop tried to pull her up from the bed, but she pushed him off, hiding her face in her pillow. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t just leave her alone.

She wanted to wallow in her misery. Didn’t he understand that? He had a girlfriend. He didn’t need her anymore. This probably explained why he hadn’t been asking her out for the past few months. Because he met someone, and he didn’t want any potential misunderstandings. He could have just _told_ her instead of leaving her to second-guess and worry that she had done something wrong.

But she didn’t like the thought of him having a girlfriend. She didn’t like it at all. _Gloria._ He sounded resigned. _I can’t just leave you here, not when you’re being like this. Come on, tell me what’s wrong_. He prodded her arm gently, and she tried to edge away from his fingers, but he was persistent enough that she finally turned over in bed and stared him right in the eye, her breath hitching at the sight of him.

The moonlight shone through her open window and it flooded his face – she could make out his features clearly, and he looked worried. His hand was reaching for her, and she glanced at it, her chest heavy. _What do you want from me?_ She wanted to cry but she couldn’t, not when he was here, looking so tender and so…beautiful.

Did she think he was beautiful? Was he? Her thoughts were all muddled. _I just want you to tell me how you feel, Gloria_. His hand reached out and stroked her hair away from her face and this time she felt her eyes sting. _I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been meeting up with you or staying in touch with you or just…being there for you. I know I suck. But I still want to be your friend. Please tell me what’s wrong._

He sounded almost desperate. Or maybe she was the desperate one, trying to put meaning that wasn’t there into his words. Her tongue felt so heavy. Try as it might, she couldn’t get it to move. _Hop._ And that was all she could say. He came a little closer, his eyes asking a question, and when their faces were almost touching, she summoned what little energy she had to reach up and press her lips to his.

She felt him freeze, and maybe she should feel guilty because he had a girlfriend now, but she was tired of being selfless. All this time she had held back because she was afraid of hurting him – she didn’t want to be a reminder of his broken dreams and she decided to stay away until he was ready to see her again.

But what about her feelings? She was hurting without him, and she was tired of always being the bigger person, the friend who gave and gave without showing the pain on her face. All of a sudden, Hop sighed into her mouth and she felt his fingers threading through her hair, holding her head in place. She felt dizzy. His lips were still on hers, and her heart was racing in her chest. Why wasn’t he pulling away?

 _You smell like alcohol and puke_. He withdrew slightly and whispered, and she gazed up at him, uncomprehending. He brushed his thumb over her cheek. _I know you’re drunk, so it doesn’t mean anything. But that – that was still…it felt good. I’m sorry, I don’t want to take advantage of you._ His gaze was shadowed, and he turned to leave, but her hand reached out for him and her fingers curled loosely around the hem of his jacket. He could have easily broken free of her grip, but he paused.

 _Stay_. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, but he glanced back at her, his expression conflicted. _I want you to stay. Cuddle with me._ Like the old times. When they were kids and had sleepovers and they would sleep in the same room, neither of them bothered by sharing the same bed. They would wake up hugging each other with her face pressed against his neck, and this happened until they finally grew up and realised it was weird for a boy and a girl to sleep together like that.

But they were adults now and she was sad and lonely, and she craved that kind of touch. She pleaded with her eyes and he exhaled and turned around and took off his suit jacket, draping it over the back of a chair. He curled up around her in bed, letting her lean her head against his chest, and she inhaled a scent that was so uniquely _Hop_ – he smelled like sunshine and grass and the great outdoors. He was energy and desire and _longing_ and she had missed him, missed this _so_ much –

His hand was stroking the back of her head, and she felt her eyelids lowering as the repetitive action lulled her to drowsiness. _Sleep_. His whisper was quiet, but she felt his warmth and she snuggled closer to him, feeling a special sort of peacefulness that had eluded her for months. _I’ll still be here in the morning_. It was like he could read her mind somehow, and his response to her unasked question comforted her.

She could still feel his warmth even when she sank into a dreamless sleep, and for the first time since she moved to Wyndon, she didn’t feel quite as alone.

* * *

Morning came, bringing with it a splitting headache and a mouth that felt dryer than sandpaper. She moaned, unwilling to properly wake up, but when she rolled over, she felt her arm hit something unfamiliar and immediately her eyes flew open.

The first thing she saw was a white dress shirt. She was pressed against someone’s chest and, beginning to panic, she gazed upwards – a familiar face and wavy purple hair, and she immediately felt better. It was Hop. She peeked down at herself and was glad to realise that they were both clothed. She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if _anything_ happened between them. Not when he had a girlfriend.

The thought of that made her stomach churn, but there was nothing left for her to throw up. Feeling how parched her throat was, she thought she ought to grab a drink, but her headache was just _awful_. She groaned, trying to get up, but besides turning in bed she didn’t manage to accomplish anything. Her body was useless.

“Thirsty?” She heard Hop’s voice, and looked over to see the lanky boy getting up with a yawn – he stretched, his dress shirt lifting a little, and she hastily looked away as she saw a hint of his toned abs. “I’ll get you some water, hang on.”

He shuffled out of the room and she waited, at least able to prop herself up against her pillows – she couldn’t remember everything that happened last night but she was slowly beginning to recall the sensation of soft lips against hers, and now there was a sinking feeling in her stomach. Did she…did she kiss Hop? He was already seeing another person, wasn’t he? What on earth had she been thinking?

“Here. Water.” Hop came back in with her camellia cup and thrust it in front of her face. She took the cup with a murmur of thanks, forcing herself to drink – her head continued to throb, and she figured it would last the whole day, but it wasn’t exactly the worst hangover she ever had so she’d live. Hop sat on her chair, his suit jacket hanging off the back of it, watching her as she drank. “Gloria. We need to talk.”

She flinched. He sounded uncharacteristically serious, and that wasn’t a good sign. Gloria could only hope that he wasn’t going to say something like how they should stay away from each other – they were already not speaking or meeting regularly, and if he wanted to further distance himself, she didn’t know what she’d do.

She didn’t have any right to, but she missed him. She missed his infectious joy and his laughter and the way he was able to make any situation seem okay. If Hop hadn’t been around during her Gym Challenge, she doubted she would have been able to make it as far as she did. She looked down at herself, still wearing the little black dress she put on for last night. “What about?” At least her voice was steady.

“You kissed me.” He paused, and his next words sounded hesitant. “I don’t know if you remember doing that, but I just thought you should know. Because…because I really liked it, and I’ve been struggling with these feelings for a while now, and if it was just because you were drunk, I completely understand. I just want to know.”

Gloria blinked. Her thoughts were racing at his confession, and she wondered if she had misheard something or if her desperation had caused her to misunderstand. “But aren’t you attached? You were talking to another girl the whole of last night…”

“She’s just one of my sponsors,” Hop answered. “She’s interested in the topic I’m researching, and she’s been a huge help so far. That’s why I invited her to the party – nothing else is going on between us.” He met her gaze, and there was a troubled look on his face. “Is that why you said I had a girlfriend last night?”

She nodded, relief flooding her chest – so he wasn’t seeing someone else, after all. “Then I’m glad,” she whispered, and he smiled. It was a careful smile, and he remained in the chair, not making a move. She wondered what else she should say. “I’ve been – I think I’ve…liked you for a while now. But you kept avoiding me and I thought maybe seeing me reminded you of…you know. So, I thought it would be better if I waited for you to suggest meeting up instead. I missed you.”

His breath caught. “I thought it would be for the best if we didn’t meet too much,” he admitted. “Since you’re the champion, and I was just the loser who didn’t even make it to the final round of the Champion Cup. And remember when Bede said that I was just embarrassing Lee by being so weak all the time?” She could see his fingers clenching into fists on his lap. “I didn’t want to affect your reputation too.”

“Hop. I don’t care about any of that.” She reached for him, trying to get up, but her head hurt so much that she gave up – Hop got up and approached her instead, his fingers twining loosely with hers. “Don’t let Bede get to you, he’s a stuck-up prick. And it doesn’t matter much what people say. They don’t know who you really are. Or who I am, even.” She looked up, meeting his gaze. He looked conflicted.

“I wish I could believe that Gloria, I really do.” His hand tightened around hers. “But people are awful, and they’d believe any kind of bad press. No one ever remembers the good things.” And she wished she could change his mind just by saying pretty words but she knew she couldn’t, not with his mind made up like this – if there was one word to describe him it would be _stubborn_ and it would take time and effort to make him view things in a different light. Instead, she changed the topic.

“Do you like me?” she asked. She wanted to know, for sure, about his feelings for her. He blinked, then his gaze softened, and he reached down towards her, his fingers curling loosely around the sunflower pendant that nestled in the hollow of her throat.

“I like that you’re still wearing my present,” he answered. “And yes, I like you too. I’ve liked you for a while now. Ever since you kept whipping my ass during all our pokemon battles. I guess I’m just a sucker for punishment, aren’t I?”

She laughed and they hugged, and she closed her eyes, suddenly feeling content. Things weren’t perfect – they still had hurt to unpack, pain to unravel. His continual avoidance of her had brought nothing but anguish and that wasn’t something she could forget with just a wave of her hand. And she hated that even after all this time, even after all the things he had uncovered through his research, he was still so doubtful about himself and his potential. Had he not done enough to convince himself that he was capable? That he didn’t need to prove anything to Bede or the media?

But maybe that was something they could work through another day. It was enough, for now, to know that her feelings for him were not unrequited. For today, just today, he was _here,_ he was warm, and she was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao yeah I totally got lazy towards the end
> 
> talk to me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/dontenchantme)


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